Some films make you wonder why they got greenlit. These five recent releases test patience, logic and occasionally the laws of storytelling. Let’s get into it.
The Woman in Cabin 10
A supposed psychological thriller that forgets to be either psychological or thrilling. The tension fizzles after twenty minutes, replaced a dialogue that sounds like it was written by ChatGPT.
Keira Knightley does her best but no one could save this sinking ship. Every reveal feels recycled. It’s the cinematic version of a cruise you can’t get off.
Vicious
Dakota Fanning spends two hours walking through dark hallways. The film keeps trying to be deep and clever but the scares are obvious, the pacing drags and the ending somehow says nothing while acting like it’s saying something profound. It’s called Vicious, but the only vicious thing here is the editing.
Play Dirty
an action comedy that’s neither! Mark Wahlberg looks bored, the jokes don’t work, and the explosions look fake. Shane Black’s usual sharp humor is gone, replaced with noise, ads, and messy scenes. Play Dirty shows exactly how to make an action movie with no energy.
The Threesome
A romantic comedy that thinks being awkward makes it deep. It tries to be bold but just feels uncomfortable.
The characters don’t connect, the dialogue is cringey and overused and its talk about modern love feels like a bad Tinder date. Watching it feels like listening to a private talk you weren’t supposed to hear.
London Calling
This wants to mix action, comedy and a touch of emotion but it never finds the right rhythm. Josh Duhamel and Jeremy Ray Taylor actually make a good team, their chemistry feels natural and gives the film a few fun moments. You can tell they’re trying.
The problem is everything around them. The script is all noise and no focus, the plot keeps twisting for no reason and the humor feels recycled. The film tries to say something about fatherhood and identity, but it gets lost in the chaos.
